PCT 2016: Thoughts and fears.

Hello, little hiking blog! I have so much to say to you! 

I know we haven't talked in a long while, but it's two and a half weeks until I leave for 400 miles of the Oregon PCT all at once, and while my friends have been so kind and encouraging in listening to my PCT thoughts and fears, having a neutral place like you to really just LET IT ALL OUT, YOU KNOW? might be helpful.

Also! I have done SO MANY great hikes in the last six months as part of my PCT "training," and during most of them I've said to myself, "Man, I'm going to get back home and write all about this trail for that hiking blog I always mean to write in so I can remember every bit of this," aaaand I never do.

But for posterity, some of my favorites have been (pictured below in this order):

• Cape Falcon, on the Oregon Coast
• Wildwood Trail in Forest Park, Portland (all 30+ miles of it!)
• Falls Creek Falls in Gifford Pinchot National Forest, Washington
• Saddle Mountain in the Coast Range
• Cascade Head, on the Oregon Coast
• Mosier Plateau, on the Oregon side of the Columbia River Gorge
• Coyote Wall/The Labyrinth, on the Washington side of the Columbia River Gorge
• Hamilton Mountain, in Beacon Rock State Park in Washington
• Tom, Dick, and Harry Mountain in Mt. Hood National Forest

And that's not even all the hikes I've done, just my favorites! I have seen a lot of cool things and LET'S JUST ADMIT IT, I am pretty badass.

Some of those were tough, some were longer than any other day hikes I've done before, some I carried my very heavy pack on for practice. BUT the fact remains that I've never done a long distance thru hike like I'm about to do with the PCT. So let's talk about some of the things I'm anxious about! 

I should say the list of things I'm excited about exceeds this list, I think, which is why I think getting this list out of the way first is important. I am afraid:

• That I will fall. That I will fall a lot. I had a hard fall on the Hamilton Mountain hike that fucked up one of my ankles for a while and made a huge bruise/hard bump on my shin that is JUST just starting to go away after a month and a half. I went on a hike yesterday where I fell twice and my body feels a little broken. So, this is not an unfounded fear. I don't know if I just have lazy feet or what, but I know when I fall on the PCT, I won't be able to take rest days to heal like I can with day hikes, so hopefully none of my falls will be too traumatic.

• That I will forget to bring something really important, or bring the wrong things. I am particularly worried about this in regards to clothing.

• That I will be generally bad at setting up/breaking down camp / look fairly stupid with my gear in general. I am by no means a gear head and most of the supplies I need for this trip I've bought brand new and am just learning how to use properly.

• That my pack will be too heavy and I'll hate it and be miserable.

• That I will miss Kathy too much.

• That I will be hungry all the time. And miss real food too much.

• That I will miss my animals too much.

• That I will miss my general "real life" too much.

• That I will run out of water at points, or that I will fuck up or lose my water filter somehow.

• That Cliff, my hiking companion, will tire of my company after a while.

• That the landscape will be that Cascade alpine and/or high desert landscape, dry and sandy and hot, the entire time, and that I will get tired of it and long for the rainforests and waterfalls of the Gorge and the Coast.

• That fjording streams or crossing snow patches will be scary.

• That I will shit or bleed all over myself at some point. JUST BEING REAL HERE PEOPLE.

• That it will rain a lot when I'm not expecting it to rain much at all.

• That the mosquitoes will drive me crazy.

• That I won't be able to finish the entire thing.

• Bees.

• That sleeping alone in my tent at night may be scary sometimes. Mainly because of bears.

• Bears.

Phew! That felt good. Now I can focus on the awesome. *brushes shoulders off*